hmmm

Usually, I do feel better when I hand something off. I'm not sure why this time, it's not the case. You'd think I'd be grateful I have a few days to let someone else worry about it. But now I'm second guessing myself. Should I have taken out that weak section? How well can one proofread at 3 am?

Plus, I'm so ready to know what this advisor thinks. I am sure he will have a lot of feedback, but what I really want to know is his overall take. Do I get my point across? I will be forever working on details, as long as I write, probably, but I really hope the big picture is good. I wonder if he will think my data collection is too extensive for a dissertation?

I wish I could take the day off but I need to tend to some things I've been neglecting. I think I'll stop at 5 though, I need some kind of break.

I am embracing my identity as an Iranian-American woman. I love my body, its curves and softness. I am starting to become who I've always wanted to be. I am grateful that my career exploration brought me to where I am now, and I still laugh when I remember I was a computer programmer. I can't imagine doing anything else. I am learning to love and be vulnerable, and let people in. I get scared shitless sometimes. I am learning to adore my desires.  I want to fly.