Feminism and capitalism

I'm fired up, intellectually speaking, from reading this article: Iceland: the world's most feminist country. Iceland has decided to ban strip clubs and they outlawed prostitution last year. Basically, the message it sends to society is: "women are not for sale." Wow. It brings up a really interesting issue to me. As the article indicates, there is debate over whether stripping/prostitution are empowering or degrading.

I never liked it when prostitution laws were enforced, partly because sex workers already have so much to deal with, why also add cops breathing down their necks to their burdens? I always thought it should be legal because they needed the money and were not hurting anyone other than possibly themselves. And I don't think the government has a right to step in when it comes to protecting yourself from yourself. Also, if the industry was regulated, it could be much safer.

Then I read this article and realize my previous perception of prostitution was based on a capitalist system. In a free market, everything is a commodity. In poverty, people do desperate things. The wide gap between rich and poor doesn't help either, because it sets up the former to exploit the latter. (Is it really necessary that a CEO make 50 times what the average worker does??) But what if poverty doesn't warrant the need for desperate measures? What happens then?

That is the case with Iceland. Of course, there are a lot of factors at play, like the women in power. I am just saying that the two go hand in hand: (sexual) objectification and economic equality. I am starting to think socialism creates a much more civilized society. A quick google search proves me right about Iceland: It has one of the smallest gaps between rich and poor and one of the lowest rates of poverty in Europe.

God, Iceland is so ahead of us it's depressing. Their prime minister is lesbian, and people here launch massive campaigns to deny gay and bisexual rights. 

I especially love the quote in the article, because it confirms what I have thought for a long time. We need more women in power. Men have done this for too long, we need a more balanced perspective:

Once you break past the glass ceiling and have more than one third of female politicians, something changes. Feminist energy seems to permeate everything.
-Halldórsdóttir Kolbrún, the Iceland politician who proposed the ban

Morning musings

What a great way to start my morning, reading about how Iran has executed 388 of the 724 people who have been executed worldwide (excluding China) in the last year. Congrats, mullahs. More than HALF of the executions worldwide (except China, where executions are estimated in the thousands) occurred in Iran! The Islamic Regime always fucking does this, they always decimate the strongest people, those willing to stand up. And yet the movement never dies. I think passion for justice and equality is stronger than fear, and will prevail.

On another note, I think I am having a feminist awakening of sorts. I feel comfortable and beautiful in my own skin and I feel less and less bound to societal expectations. I love getting older and wiser. Life is too damn short to not be who you are.

Weekend one

Okay, first weekend. It sounds crazy, but I am up to 40 pages. That's really misleading because a LOT of it needs to be cut. I have so many pages only because I have been living, breathing, writing about, women's empowerment, especially Iranian women, forever. I have over 130 scientific sources on women's empowerment across the globe and over 100 on Iranian women. When I first began researching these topics in spring 2008, I arrogantly assumed no one had studied these topics. "There are no studies on women's empowerment process. Research on Iranian women is nonexistent." Grad school has given me more humility.

I now have a very rough layout of my literature review and still have to dive deeper into the methods. Finish proposal this semester, finish proposal this semester. Can it be done? I wish I could just not leave my apartment for a week and finish it. That's the  best way to write, for me at least. I like thinking of myself as a crazy introverted writer who can't leave her apartment. I imagine staying in my apartment for years and eventually people trying to coax me out. By that time, I behave and resemble a technologically advanced caveman, clinging my laptop protectively.

Anywho, back to 5 am mornings for rest of March and April. I will finish proposal this semester. I will finish proposal this semester. I think this blog's going to help. I will turn to it when I have writer's block to get my juices going and maybe jot my negative thoughts out. Also, my reflections as I'm writing. I think something is wrong with comments, but that's okay. Blogging makes me feel like I have witnesses. Just knowing I have witnesses will make me feel more guilty when I don't make progress, and a little properly guided fear of guilt never hurt anyone!

I have to stop feeling in awe of Iranian women activists. If I idealize them, isn't that the same as objectification? Either way, it will muddy my view, and I want to see my participants as clearly as possible. Admiring them but seeing them as human. I'll have to work on that. I want to be true to my participants.

Women's empowerment in random places

I love advice columns, and I recently discovered Dan Savage's blog. His straightforward, open-minded advice has helped me grow as a therapist and discover my own views about sexuality, relationships, etc. I have been digging through his archives. One week, he requested his audience to send in their advice to heterosexual fifteen-year-old girls. I was struck by one woman's response:

What do I wish I knew at age 15? That I should live my life as if I would never have a man. I wish I had known that I should be financially self-sufficient, that I should cultivate interests in things I enjoy, that I should grow friendships that will stand the test of time. I wish I'd known then that I should make a life for myself that I enjoy and find fulfilling. And then if a guy comes along who can complement, not substitute for, my life he is the gravy not the whole damn meatloaf.

And I wish I had known, and this is important, that a good, emotionally healthy man will appreciate me for being a human being with a full life outside of any sexual or romantic relationship. Any man who expects less is not someone I want to waste a Saturday night on, let alone the rest of my life.

Joyful In Baltimore

From: http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=21182

I love this lesson for women and I wish I could shout it from the rooftops. I realize in some places, it is more possible than in others for women to assert their independence. 

If I am serious about women's empowerment being a part of my research, counseling practices, and identity, I need to have an understanding of what I think it is. How is empowerment reflected in her statement? I think one of our greatest strengths as women is the ability to be relational. Not that I mean all women are relational: I'm making generalizations of course. This is an asset that can SAVE THE WORLD, truly. However, like anything else, we can go overboard as women. We can try to please others, dumb down our intelligence (I have done it myself), or think we need a rescuer. I believe there is an inverse relationship between empowerment and the ability to tolerate disrespect. As a woman becomes more empowered, she becomes more aware and less tolerant of sexist bullshit. Maybe I'm touching on a larger aspect here: the ability to tolerate sexist bullshit. I'm sitting here, reflecting on the research, and thinking, hmmm, what happens when women in oppressed situations become empowered in one phase of life? Like when women in Iran, in the last thirty years, have become the majority of college-educated youth? They become less tolerant of sexist bullshit. That's what education does, it shows you there is another way.

Everything I think seems so up in the air right now, I don't know which way is up. I have a feeling I have to get used to this feeling. I guess I'll figure it out as I go.

Here I go

I am finally at the moment that I have been waiting for. For years, and maybe all of my life, I have waited for this moment. The opportunity to take all that I have learned, and all that I am, and apply it to the biggest project of my life, whose topic makes my soul sing. The strength and stories of Iranian women who have risked everything to fight for their rights.

So why am I so scared? I feel like Maria, going to the von Trapps. Would they accept her as their nanny? Would they welcome her, would they send her away? "I've often longed for adventure, to do the things I never dared....so why am I so scared?" The conclusion she comes to is to act confident, act like she knows, and I know that is what I have to do too.

Because for all my experiences in qualitative research, my reading in the area of Iranian women, my project in Tehran in 2008, my previous writing, all of that doesn't mean shit. There is still so much I don't know, that I have to learn. There is still so much I have to experience. Am I the right person to take on a project like this? I want this to become a book that represents the essence of Iranian women. Who am I to represent this essence? I grew up here, can I truly understand? Is my Farsi good enough? So many doubts, so many demons. But I have to persevere.

I am Maria, I am the prince, fighting his way through a thorny, dangerous forest for the princess that awaits him. But my prize is not a person, or possession, depending on how you interpret the fairy tale. My prize is being a small part of a movement that is vibrant and historical and beautiful and powerful and impactful and inspiring. My prize is being able to raise the voices of some of the strongest women I have ever heard of. My prize is doing my part to spread the contagious phenomenon that is women's empowerment. We are taught as women we must smile, we must do this, to that to be considered proper ladies. In some countries it is worse than others. But women everywhere are rising up and demanding to be treated with equality and respect. What is it about movements that helps individual women make a shift from "me" to "we"? When does something become a social movement?

I am excited and thrilled and scared. I feel unworthy and confident and transparent and humble and overwhelmed. I have to do this as best as I can. I move forward.