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A long time ago, I accepted that there is no such thing as karma, on a micro- or macro-level. Good people may have it hard their entire lives and bad deeds frequently go unpunished. But this stings. The protests to mark the anniversary of last year's Iranian "elections" this Saturday have been cancelled. The opposition leaders and groups weren't able to receive a permit (surprise, surprise) and it's just too dangerous to go out, what with the 2 million Basiji forces called in and all. People may still come out, but at what cost?

I don't blame them. Not one bit. They have been or known someone who has been killed, tortured,  raped, banned from continuing their studies. Things we can't even imagine. How can you ask someone to risk their life? How can you ask them to risk their freedom? How can you ask them to risk their families?

Today, I am disillusioned. Today, I want to crawl in a hole. It seems unimaginable that a country with so many intelligent, passionate people can remain under the rule of some of the most backwards assholes on the face of the earth. It seems inconceivable that these misogynist brutes will remain in power. And all I ever hear on the news about Iran anymore is fucking sanctions and nuclear shit. What a joke. But there you have it.

I'm sure I'll be better soon. A lot more have faced a lot worse, and I have to be strong too. But today, my heart is breaking.