Tonight, I spend quality time with me. I am reflecting, I am shining like a lone candle, I am reminiscing and I am thinking. It is the calm before the storm. In 11 days, I will be in Paris, and after that, L.A. I won't be home for over a month. No fatcat in bed, no trees blowing out my window.
It's going to be huge. I will change, as research always changes me. The kind of research I do is close to the heart. I'm taking chances. Already, the project is not going as I thought it would, and that's okay. It will be okay. I have a lot to learn and that is okay too.
I will stand with strong women. I have to make sure my posture is good, my back straight. My mom always straightened my posture, and I never understood why. But I do now. Making sure my back is straight makes me feel tall, and proud. Proud of being a woman. Knowing I can stand tall and equal around anyone and everyone. That is a promise I am making to myself on this trip, to stand and sit up straight.
I feel unworthy sometimes and it's overwhelming. But I can't let that side get the best of me. I vow to work through it, because my time is limited. I need to smile at the nervous me, give her a hug, and show her outside politely. I will try not to get discouraged.
Everything has prepared me for this trip, and this dissertation. My time is now.
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